lovesickpuppy

Ok, so this new "policy" is being implemented at work. It's what they call the "clean desk policy"and it's all about us level 2 employees not being able to bring in our bags to the workstation. We have to either leave it in the locker or leave it with the guard. If I were a he I'd be totally fine with it but hello? does that mean I have to go the locker to touch up or brush my hair? i know it's for some security ek-ek but if someone was determined enough to steal some guy's credit card number, I'm pretty sure he'll get away with it. Here's a list of the things he can do:

1. If he's very scholarly but poor, he can memorize the numbers. I mean, it's only 16 numbers and the expiration date right?

2. He can email the numbers to himself.

3. He can jot the numbers down on a piece of paper.

4. The palm is a pretty good place to store numbers.

Oh diba? there are a lot of other ways that one can get away with this. Hay rules. Can't w/ them, can't live without them.

lovesickpuppy

My mom left for Toronto a couple of weeks ago in search for a better life...despite having a comfortable life here in Manila where she had her own house, car, business and most of all her family. I guess the Dollar (regardless if it's Canadian or US) has this blinding effect on people...especially for Filipinos, both rich, middle class or poor.

I called my mom yesterday just to see how she was doing and how it is to have a new life. Surprise, Surprise! She cried upon hearing my voice and told me how lonely it was to be alone in her room with absolutely nothing to do. You see, she has a job as a housekeeper there, which is mind-boggling to me. She was able to earn enough from her business here in Manila to send us to good schools. She is a single mom and she worked her butt off in order for us to live nice lives. I graduated a couple of years ago from DLSU and my brother is about to graduate in a month from CSB.

Inside the four corners of her room stood a bed, hungry for a companion and in deep desperation for warmth, so is my mom. With no radio, television or anything else to do, she cries herself to sleep. It's sad that she was used to a nice life but is now serving someone else in Canada. She says that she's going there in order for us to have better lives and to someday be able to migrate to Canada, which is not really what we want, but what she wants. She paid for a huge amount just to be able to obtain a visa and I'm so sad because this is the reality for most Filipinos. We don't even have identities anymore.

I miss my mom so much, I wish she didn't have to go. I can't stand hearing her like that.

lovesickpuppy

Knock on the window so he goes away.

Everybody knows that. Even they know that. Don't look out, don't look at their faces, and of course, never look straight into their eyes. To protect ourselves from the pain of having compassion, we dull our responses. We knock on our car windows.

Go away.

Not because we are annoyed, but because we are angry at our imagined powerlessness about the situation outside the comfort of our cars. How wrong we are. We are not helpless.

- from http://www.rockedphilippines.org/

I know how it feels to be on the driver seat inside a car while a little girl would beg for alms, drenched in a mixture of sweat and rainwater.

lovesickpuppy

This is so funny!!

These are the words that are so unique and loaded in meaning that they will never find a direct translation in the English language. Forget traditional dictionaries. Keep this.

1. Achuchu (A-chu-chu).
This refers to the pointless insincerities being said during long, involved conversations about nothing at all.

2. Ano (A-noh).
The all-around, all-purpose word for everything.

(1) Pronoun in interrogation: Ano? (What)
(2) Noun: Where is your ano? (Where is your father/mother/dead-uncle's-second-cousin)
(3) Verb: Anuhin this. (Paint/kill/maim/castrate this.)
(4) Adjective: This is so ano. (This is so pretty/big/astounding.)
(5) Interjection: Ano! (What the hell!)
(6) Substitute for genitalia: Did you ano your ano?

The use of ano is quite dangerous for the untrained ear, and must be put into the proper setting.
"Honey, the ano is too long, we have to cut it," must be accompanied by the proper understanding of the context, as results may be critical to a couple's future.

3. Booba (boo-bah).
A female blessed with larger than usual mammary glands,which can be used as weapons of mass destruction.

4. Checheboreche (Che-che-boh-re-che)

Same as achuchu. It is interesting to ponder on the reason why there are so many words in the Filipino language that beautifully describe meaningless chatter.

5. Epal (Eh-pal).
An individual who believes he is God.

6. Gigil (gee-gil).
An uncontrollable desire to bite something.

7. Hipon (Hee-pon).
Literally "shrimp," whose body is eaten while its head is thrown away, this refers to a female whose body is to die for and whose face looks like it belongs to the dead.

8. Kikay (kee-kay).
Refers to individuals who carry a brush, hand wash, moisturizer, lip-gloss and various other facial enhancements in a case (aptly called a kikay kit) inside her bag. Recent inspections of various backpacks have led to the conclusion it is not a purely female trait. This breed cannot resist checking themselves out on mirrors, glass windows, bread knives, sidewalk puddles and plastic-covered notebooks.

9. Kaekekan (Ka-ek-e-kahn).
Same as achuchu and chechebureche.

10. Kilig (keel-leg).
A rush of excitement due to the actions, presence or even mention of he whom you see as the future father of your children.

11. Laglag-brip (lag-lag-brip).
The female counterpart of laglag-panti.

12. Laglag-panti (lag-lag-pan-tee).
A man so incredibly hot, so heart-stoppingly gorgeous and oozing with masculinity that female underwear (whether worn by males or females) falls to the ground without effort whatsoever.

13. Indyanero (In-jan-neh-ro).
An individual who fails to appear at an appointment without prior warning. Not to be confused with individuals who appear according to Filipino time (approximately 10 minutes before the meeting is to end).

14. Japorms (Jah-porms).
Describes an individual dressed differently from the usual (typically involves clothes that have been laundered and pant legs of roughly the same length).

15. Lagot (Lah-got).
A prophesy of evil things to come.

16. Para (Pah-rah).
A term that informs the driver of a jeep to stop and pause (usually in the middle of the road) as the individual speaking intends to leave the vehicle. Dangerous for individuals as drivers seem to believe having one foot in the air is all that is necessary for descent.

17. Takusa (Ta-kuh-sa).
Derived from takot sa asawa (afraid of wife), this is a term used to describe the silent (very silent) minority of males married to feminine reincarnations of Hitler.

18. Torpe (tore-peh).
A gentleman who is desperately attracted to a female yet by some strange compulsion is reduced to a frozen mound of stuttering male whenever that female is near.

Armed with this list and a smile, you will be sure to make the proper impression not just on your new relations, but on your loved one as well.

Now let's practice:

"Honey, when I first saw you, I made laglag brip, and was almost torpe. When I finally got the nerve to date you, I almost became indyanero, because I didn't think I had the right japorms. When you're around, I'm kilig, when you're not, I get gigil. You may think all this is achuchu, kaekekan, just checheboreche, but in truth, my love, I'm so ano with you."